Part of recognising what resources you have and what you are truly good at is being able to acknowledge when someone gives you praise and thanks you. This is what I believe to be part of true value behind saying thank you.
Thank you is an overused, under appreciated phrase that is usually drilled into children without any understanding of why. Each time they ask for something they are prompted for the magic ‘please’ and when they receive the requested x, y or z it is either not actually released until the thank you is applied or there is a swift follow up of ‘what do you say?’
Does this teach the real value of the words? (I think you have already guessed my answer)
These days there are loads of ways to acknowledge the completion of a successful completion of a task, cheers, ta, nice work, that’s great etc etc and again do any of them really convey why we should say it?
Too many people brush off praise with false modesty, which is bad for the person giving it and worse for the person receiving the praise.
Instead of:
Jane – Thanks for your comments on the report, they really helped.
Fred – Just doing my job
try
Jane – Thanks for your comments on the report, they really helped.
Fred – Thank you, always happy to add value.
Instead of:
Tom – You look great in that dress
Lorna – nah, this old this old thing had it for ages
try
Tom – You look great in that dress
Lorna – Thanks, I’ve had it for ages, and it always make me smile when I wear it.
In both of these situation the in first version the compliment is dismissed, doing nothing for the for the person receiving the compliment and potentially offending the person giving it. (By dismissing it they are almost saying ‘I do not value your opinion’)
In the revised version, the compliment is accepted, acknowledged (internally re-enforcing positives for the person receiving it) while at the same time giving a compliment back (the unsaid ‘I appreciate and value your opinion’ )
When you get into the habit of saying thank you (while understanding why you are saying it) you will immediately start to identify more areas where you add value to those around you.
So remember,
When someone says something positive about you, do yourself (and them) a favour by saying ‘Thank You’ back