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#50DaysOfShades Day 22 of 50 – Getting it done.

Posted on 2022-06-172022-06-20 by Stephen Wells

Today was definitely a day where getting it done was the theme.

I have made a point (so far) of not going back to look at the pictures/read what I wrote from when I did 50DaysOfShades back in 2015. But I distinctly remember something about the first few days taking lots of photos then getting better at the single shot and using it whatever it looked like.

This time round that is so not the case. I want the good photo, I want it to reflect something, I want to be able to talk about what it means (to me).

Today it (the good photo) just was not happening. I tried to be a bit arty, and it just would not work, out of focus, terrible framing you name it. It was too bright to see anything in detail on the screen (even with my actual glasses) so was very much in a ‘I hope that worked’.

As you can see from the pic’s, it did not!

So here I am with 4 or 5 pretty ropey pictures (and a whole bundle that were deleted as soon as I actually saw then) that simply don’t match what I wanted to talk about. But I have a post to make and part of this experiment is about being honest with what happened and how I feel about it.

How I feel:

I actually feel ok about it (otherwise I would have gone back out and taken more, better, photos). The pictures are what you look at first, but not specifically what you see. Hopefully you are actually reading these ramblings and you see something deeper. A bit more of me.

Questions for today:

Do you think people see who you are, or are you caught behind a mask?
What have you seen of me, today or in the last 21 days?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #resources #embracewhathappens

#50DaysOfShades Day 21 of 50 – Days to form a habit.

Posted on 2022-06-162022-06-16 by Stephen Wells

Some say it takes 21 days to form a habit, so that’s it now I must be in the habit of taking a photo and posting every day.

Eer no. (and the 21 days is a myth2 anyway, albeit a positive one that has probably helped people at least get started.)

I’m not even sure I can call taking/posting the photo a habit.

A habit can be defined1 as: “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up”. To me there is also an element of a habit being unconscious, doing without thinking, getting to a point where it’s happening before you even notice it. (think biting nails, how someone folds a crisp packet, or what you do with receipts) Which more closely adheres to this definition2/3 “actions that are triggered automatically in response to contextual cues that have been associated with their performance”.

50DaysOfShades is far more of an exercise, maybe a practice (more on my definition of a practice another day) but definitely process.

Firstly I could give it up in a heartbeat, some days (not necessarily the ones with only a photo) I could really not do it.

Secondly, it takes thought. Working out what photo/where, what to say (if anything) it is far from an unconscious act. (To the point where I even have a checklist of what I do, how/where I post, what subtle differences there are between platforms, how to upload to my website etc). So if far from unconscious and triggered automatically.

It is however a practice (such as yoga or meditation).

It is something I am giving (for better or worse) time, energy and focus. And I have given it these since day 1.

So rather than pondering (or creating) a new habit. My suggestion is to create a new practice for this can be a reality from day one, not day 21, 28, 30 or in reality2/4 anything from 8 – 254 (or not at all).

Questions for today:

Do you have good/bad habits you create or change?

Would a practice assist you to get started?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #TimeEnergyFocus #Habit #habits

(ps, just random photos from today's walk with dragon boats on the river)

¹Reference - https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/habit?q=habit
²Article - https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-it-take-to-form-a-habit#the-21-day-myth
³Article - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
⁴Article - http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.695.830&rep=rep1&type=pdf

#50DaysOfShades Day 20 of 50 – Early morning coffee in the sun

Posted on 2022-06-152022-07-08 by Stephen Wells

#50DaysOfShades Day 19 of 50 – When you know, you know. Trust yourself

Posted on 2022-06-142022-06-14 by Stephen Wells

Today I had to take my cat to the vet for an annual check-up, and she knew.

There are three reasons my cat has been in a carrier in the last 2 years (since I got her).
One, to bring her home from the foster home.
Two, to take her to the vet health check when I first got her.
Three, for a long drive up to my mums. (This has been the most frequent reason).

She is not thrilled by any of the reasons, but I swear she knows the difference!

When I collected her the first time, she cried the entire 45 min journey home.

The first time to the vet she cried all the way there but not on the way back.

Then the first time to my mums she cried for a few minutes then settled down. Subsequent times she is not happy getting in the carrier but settles straight down when I let her look around the car.

And today she knew it was the vets, she cried as soon as I picked her up to put her in the carrier, while I took her out to the car and did not stop until we got there. (Smart move shutting up when there is also a dog in the waiting room!) Even when looking around the car (pictured) from her carrier she was crying.

The main picture is back in the car after the visit, where she came out to sit on my lap to settle her before the drive home.

So how did she know?

Had she really noticed I had not been packing bags and loading the car (to go to mum’s)?
Did she notice my time critical action of going to find her? (When going to mum’s the time does not really matter, so I wait till she come to me)

All of this got me thinking about how there are times when we know something is happening/going to happen. Call it intuition, gut feeling, Spidey sense, reading the signs etc we have all had times where we knew how it was going to pan out, but we continued regardless, trying to create a different outcome. Only for the ‘inevitable’ to happen.

Questions for today:

How often do you get these kinds of feelings?
Do you notice them at the time, or just looking back?
How do they show up for you, what physical sensations do you feel? (Knot in your gut, hairs on the back of your neck etc)
What will you do next time?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #whenyouknowyouknow #trustyourself #sensations

#50DaysOfShades Day 18 of 50 – Going with the flow

Posted on 2022-06-132022-07-21 by Stephen Wells

There are lots of angles on this one, which I’ll probably expand on another day, but today was definitely about going with the flow and seeing what happens.

The picture is from another classic car meet, this time at Burghfield Spices / The Hatch Gate

It was very much an ‘If I get there I get there’ if not I’ll work something else out for a picture.

A nice selections of cars in attendance and again the conversations of what people should and maybe should not do to their cars came up. Along with lots of stories of ‘I had one of those x years ago’.

#50DaysOfShades Day 17 of 50 – Next best step.

Posted on 2022-06-122022-07-21 by Stephen Wells

#50DaysOfShades Day 16 of 50 – Getting bogged down

Posted on 2022-06-112022-08-03 by Stephen Wells

Originally today was going to be lazy Saturday, doing a couple of bits and pieces but nothing that would really give me a photo of anything particular to talk about. So the plan was (at some point) to just snap a photo and post it.

The trouble is, when I snapped the photo I was pretty much in the middle of something, so didn’t post it straight away (I tend to post from my laptop rather than phone as posting on personal and business Facebook plus Instagram it’s easier to do the cross checking/proof reading on a decent size screen).

But this gave me time to think, rather than just getting the job done. I’ve got another 34 days so plenty of opportunities to share ponderings, so the odd just a photo is fine. But when I have time to think, I think. It’s pretty much what makes me good at what I do. I think about things in the background (more than my unconscious) I literally work them through while doing other stuff.

This means we have ended up here with me writing and sharing something that maybe will resonate with you. But in reality it has bogged me down (a little) all day. Which on a lazy Saturday is fine, but when there is real work to be done can start to cause issues.

This can happen with things you are putting off because you don’t want to do them, but also (as here) with something you do want to do, but you want to do it bigger and better. However all the speculating of how the bigger and better would look means it actually doesn’t happen.

These could be personal (health/wellness/relationship) or professional (actual job/career etc). No more thinking about it just take the actions. (Where something is better than nothing)

Questions for the day:

Is there a something where you just need to do something?
What is that first step to get the ball rolling?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #gettheballrolling #nextstep #dosomething #takeaction

#50DaysOfShades Day 15 of 50 – Just out for a drive

Posted on 2022-06-102022-06-14 by Stephen Wells

#50DaysOfShades – Day 14 of 50 – Forgetting what it was like before.

Posted on 2022-06-092022-06-28 by Stephen Wells

I wasn't really sure if I was going to do any writing today, I knew that the footpath along the river had been closed so went along to get a picture of the closure sign and maybe write something about boundaries, but it had reopened (which I had guessed it would have). So a quick photo in my tatty hat (hopefully getting my other one back this evening).

But then saw a group of huge tree trunks and a pile of wood chips, which probably explains why the footpath was closed.

So back to the trees.

We can all see what they, the space, looks like now and I only walked past the other day. I don’t remember seeing anything that would suggest the dramatic change was about to happen. Having said that I can’t even remember what it used to look like. I can’t remember if the other side had already been cleared, or if this bit was slightly more open.

This got me thinking about how we acknowledge change. How sometimes we don’t even notice it (even when we are working hard for it), the little incremental nudges in a new direction that seem insignificant or ineffective at the time, until we are so far down the line that we cant remember a time before now.

This can be both good, taking us towards something we want, or bad, the little habits/patterns/circumstances that take us away from who we are/what we want. And one day it’s “how did I get here” but you can’t put your finger on the one action, the big leap that made it happen. Or maybe you can, but you never moved past it, you stagnated not consistently taking the little steps (because you could not see any change as you were making them) to get back to where you wanted to be.

… There is a story in The Slight Edge that refers to how the water hyacinth grows, as an example of this kind of compound interest (tomorrows interest applied to today’s stake + today’s interest) doubling every day. And another story from somewhere about two siblings being offered a million pounds or a penny that doubled every day (£5,368,709.12 on day 30 when you do the sums).

These stories are always huge and dramatic, and almost unobtainable, there is no such thing as a doubling penny. (And if someone offers you that as in interest rate it’s likely to be a pyramid scheme)

So just look back at the trees.

They started as a seed that fell or were planted and grew over I don’t know 20, 30, 50 years (I’ve been walking along that bit of river on and off for at least 20 years) and covered the riverbank. And it’s not until now that I notice how much of an impact they have had/space they have taken up.

So the questions for today:

If you look back, 6 months, a year, 3 years. Can you see a significant change? (good or bad)
Is that what you hoped for?
Can you identify something small you can do every day, that will create the opportunities for more of what you want?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #littlesteps #noticethechange

#50DaysOfShades Day 13 of 50 – Time to reflect

Posted on 2022-06-082022-07-21 by Stephen Wells

For today's #50DaysOfShades the theme is Time to reflect.

As I approach the 2 week mark of this current 50DaysOfShades I wanted to take some time to reflect on how it’s going and what I am experiencing this time round. (So dropped into @Tutus Ethiopian Table for a coffee, no laptop, no writing, just time to sit, and obviously get a photo or two, but mainly to think, but did then sit in the park to write this up)

So how is it going? (for you, drop a comment, and for me?)

Well I have way higher expectations of what it will be this time round. Not sure yet if that means more pressure, or simply that I want it to mean more.

Wanting it to mean more….

There is something in me that is using it to force myself to share more thoughts and insights however they come out that day. Looking back they do tend to be a string of questions for myself and anyone that reads the posts.

It is, no matter what the public rules are, way more than just a photo a day.

There is also something about the combination of screen protector, polarised sunglasses and bright sunshine that means I can’t see a thing when I’m taking the photos so getting way more random shots/poses and amusing pics (particularly like the googly eyes one today). So am definitely embracing the fun side of what comes out which slightly contradicts the ‘want it to mean more’ but if it means I have more fun and you get a laugh maybe that is ‘meaning more’ enough.

All of which prompt the questions:

Do we embrace the fun when things don’t go as planned?

Where do we elaborate on the rules (for ourselves and others)?

Do we write between the lines, leave things unsaid, create judgements that the criteria for have never been expressed?

And what does this do:

Does it make our life easier (as we don’t need to properly express ourselves) or is that only temporary leaving us to deal with the mess it creates later down the line?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #embracewhathappens #clearcommunication #boundaries

How I feel:

Questions for today:

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

I’m not even sure I can call taking/posting the photo a habit.

It is however a practice (such as yoga or meditation).

Questions for today:

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

So how did she know?

Questions for today:

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

Interested in business coaching?

Questions for the day:

What are you doing?

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

So the questions for today:

What are you doing?

Wanting it to mean more….

All of which prompt the questions:

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

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