50daysofshades d45-i01 Stephen Wells Business Coach

#50DaysOfShades Day 45 of 50 – Pay it Forward

I want to start by saying that today was the biggest example of a collective pay it forward that I’ve ever been involved in/attended.

For those who don’t know ‘Pay It Forward’ is a book adapted to a film.

The basic concept which can be taken from the book is, help someone and instead of them paying you back they ‘pay it forward’ and help someone else.

So today I attended an event with @joyouscarsuk at @castlecombecircuituk hosted by The Under 17’s Car club, @u17cc, with funds being raised going to @teenage_cancer.

This was my first experience of @u17cc and I have to say I was impressed. The ethos, the organisation, the community they have created, and the buy-in from all those who donated their time and energy to make today happen (primarily for drivers aged 11-17, but there was a large handful of ‘more senior’ participants too)

My understanding of @u17cc is that they provide driver training for those aged 11-17, with the emphasis on safety and a gradual/controlled increase in level of ability by the provision of open days where a simulated road environment is provided for they to gain experience.

Today was what I heard referred to as a ‘Magic’ day. And it lived up to that name (even just for me as spectator) where people are invited to bring along their classic, eccentric, expensive, and/or noticeable (yes that’s you @zl1uk you drove past plenty of times but didn’t get a clear picture!) cars for these young drivers to have either rides in, or (depending on their certified level) a drive.

The photo’s don’t do the quality and quantity of cars that were available justice. I’ve got some video of people going out after the lunch break, that I need to review, but it went on for ages!

So today I saw a huge number of car owners ‘paying it forward’ to encourage young drivers to be respectful of car and also ensure they enjoy them.

I have no doubt that they will themselves pay it forward both when they are driving and when they are encouraging others.

Question:

What can you pay forward?

#businsscoach #businesscoaching #payitforward

50daysofshades d45-i01 Stephen Wells Business Coach Paying it Forward
50daysofshades d45-i02 Castle Combe Pay in Forward
50daysofshades d45-i03 Stephen Wells Pay if Forward

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

Interested in business coaching?

#50DaysOfShades Day 42 of 50 – Doing things for other people.

There are many trains of thought around the good (for both sides) of being ‘in service’ to other people but that is not really what I am referring to here (although there is probably some overlap), it is literally that I took the photos for them.

Yesterday, with a very grey cloudy photo, I was jokingly accused of manifesting the weather and inflicted 50 days of shade on everyone. So, today’s photos had to be particularly sunny just for them (you know who you are!)

The other thing was for someone’s birthday. A friend (Carl Munson Professional Page, who I’ve currently only met virtually) had a double celebration this morning, firstly his birthday and secondly a year off the beer (just because he wanted to give it a go).

And to celebrate both a bunch of us joined him on his daily livestream and had a beer with him (at 9:30 this morning!)

Now it’s not normal (for me, or him, or anyone else that virtually joined in) to have a beer at 9:30 in the morning, but this was important. To congratulate him on his achievement, to create a ceremony (albeit a very small one of raise a glass with him as a community). This morning was only a few sips form the bottle, then it got recapped and back in the fridge until this evening.
Doing (or not doing) something consistently for a year takes effort.

Carl has put the effort in with both not drinking (for a year) and running the Good Morning Portugal livestream 5 days a week for way longer. And in doing the latter has developed a great resource and a fantastic community. It was an honour to be able to celebrate with him this morning.

Question:

How do you feel when you do things for other people?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #beinservice #community

50daysofshades d42-i01 Doing things for other people. Stephen Wells Sensational Business Coach sat in hat and shades

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 41 of 50 – No Comment

I didn’t really want to write anything today. Mainly because I was still pondering yesterday boundary topic and that I had to cut short what I wanted to say to fit the 2200-character limit on Instagram. I know there have been days when I’ve added a little bit extra into the first comment, but there was going to be too much. So, I stopped writing at what was both near the character limit and hopefully a relevant section to have made a point and ask the questions. (I’ll have to go back and check at some point and I’ll definitely write an expanded version on my website too).

Therefore, I took todays photo, hand up in the talk to the hand/no comment type pose. Both that and writing the above intro got me thinking about when we say or don’t say things.

Yesterday was definitely ‘I did not get to fully say what I wanted’. So, there is still more to be said.

Today, has obviously spiralled from ‘no comment’ to I’ve definitely got something to say around when we speak up, when we don’t, and when it may have been better not to!

Questions:

How does it feel when you don’t get to say what you want?
How does it feel when do you self-sensor?
How does it feel when you say more than is ‘appropriate’?
(and yes, ‘what is appropriate’ is probably another topic.

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #nocomment #moretosay

50daysofshades d41-i01 No Comment

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 40 of 50 – Setting boundaries and expectations

This one has been rattling around for a while as the temporary traffic lights have been there for a couple of weeks, only took that photo today but have been collecting other related images when out and about of the last week.

With the traffic lights in mind, even as children we are taught the importance of the red light, the stop sign. It becomes an unconscious act (hopefully) to notice it and respond to it. It is a boundary that is easy to understand, and we mostly have the expectation that others will adhere to it.

But I feel it’s always worth checking that the others have stopped. There is a quote along the lines of ‘There is a difference between knowledge and wisdom’. In this case have the knowledge others should stop, but the wisdom to check. And my lasting memory of this quote used a someone jumped the lights story to drive it home.

With this in mind, how we communicate our personal and business boundaries can create different result.

Do we just assume that something is understood, or do we reinforce/reiterate it when dealing with someone new, or someone we know in a new situation? Here the temporary lights are replacing an existing set that are damaged, but they feel the need to put a reminder sign up too. And this sign reinforces the ‘wait until green’ not ‘stop on red’.

The ’cyclist please dismount here’ is a polite request, I have no idea if there are penalties if you don’t.

But the ‘WARNING’ sign, No this (with a couple of reasons thrown in), no that, no the other. To me felt like demands, not warnings. Even to the point someone has taken offence (presumably) to the ‘no fishing, without a license’ line and scrubbed out the picture.

So even here we have three ways to express the boundary/set the expectation. Which I feel is worth bearing in mind when someone doesn’t hear/oversteps or deliberately confronts a boundary we have.
(that’s pretty much my 2200 characters)

Questions

How do you tend to state your boundaries?
Have you had situations where there was a misunderstanding about what the boundary was?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #boundaries #expectations.

50daysofshades d40-i01 - boundaries

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 39 of 50 – Today’s Reflections.

I have had a couple of days recently with just the photo, no post, no thoughts, no reflections on what the photo meant to me.

Today I want to make sure we have some reflections.

One of my reasons for redoing the #50DaysOfShades was to discuss the challenges that came up for last time. To share those experience (in retrospect) and hopefully help some of you overcome similar issues.

Those same challenges are not coming up this time round. They may surface at some point, but all the things I thought I would talk about do not feel relevant to what I am doing. So, they remain ideas but I don’t feel the need to weave them into a photo just so I can talk about them.

It feels more purposeful (at the moment) to share the thoughts that arise and speak to those.

When I think about reflection it’s not necessarily the context above of looking back (at what happened) but more the literal ‘what is looking back at me’.

This partly comes from various meditation/ mindfulness retreats where the phrase ‘Everyone is your mirror’ can be used to explore any emotional response you have towards someone.

The things that you see in someone else are/can be the things you see in yourself.
This concept works for both working within emotional responses (the stimulus is something you do/don’t want to exhibit yourself) and the unlocking of potential (if you can see it in someone else you can find it in yourself).

My use of the environment (my pictures) is me, in part, taking this to another depth. Having a whole extra set of stimuli to work with. I get to see, think, feel, explore things that otherwise would not have come to light.

Questions:

Do you reflect on the past, or are you trapped there?
(Now the curveball question)
What do others see in you that you do not see in yourself?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #reflection

50daysofshades d39-i01 Today’s Reflections
50daysofshades d39-i02 Today’s Reflections

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 35 of 50 – Embrace it.

#50DaysOfShades Day 35 of 50 – Embrace it.

Today I deliberately went for a walk in the rain. T-shirt, shorts, sandals – no coat.

Why did I do that?

Partly so that I could Embrace it, Recognise it, Acknowledge it, Celebrate it, Appreciate it, Accept it. All the things I’ve been talking about over the last 34 days.

But mainly so that I could write/talk about it.

7 years ago on Day 26 of #50DaysOfShades 2015 (July 26th 2015) it rained. It rained for the first time since I had started 50days that time round. All I posted was “I said I had a plan, not a great plan but a plan, take the photo anyway, even the swans were enjoying the rain”

What I didn’t talk about at the time was anything that came up for me at the time.

Well I’ve had 7 years to think about it, let’s see what I’ve got to say!

There are many phrases about the rain, but two stand out for me (in no order, I actually flipped a coin to see which one to put first, before anyone asks) :

a – “It never rains but it pours” - PROVERB

b - “Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.” —Vivian Greene

These two ends of the spectrum (a) being doom and gloom, (b) encapsulating the brightness, stand out to me they both capture the energy/direction that you look at them from. And in reality it is usually something in the middle so why not embrace it?

Today it neither poured (it actually stopped as I was walking to where I took the photo, I was not happy at that!) nor did I dance in the rain. (I did however once go swimming in an outside pool that was closed in a hurricane! My 10year old logic was I was going to be wet anyway and what better time to practice snorkelling than when the pool was empty.)

Pictures: Me in the rain, the rain on the river, views from the back (half cloud/half blue sky) and front (all cloudy) of my house when I got back.

So just like when crossing the road, look both ways, before making a move.

Questions:

Which way do you normally look (without thinking)?
Next time could you look both ways?
Can you just embrace what is, without judging?

 

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #EmbraceIt #danceintherain

50daysofshades d35-i01 - not dancing but in the rain
50daysofshades d35-i04
50daysofshades d35-i05

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 34 of 50 – Acceptance

Today I had to come to a point of acceptance.

Acceptance that today's photo was going to be nothing special.

Acceptance that, at that point, I’d have nothing to say.

Acceptance that, just a photo is enough (by the rules I defined at the start).

Acceptance that, watching this game of tennis (Raducanu Vs Garcia) could leave me with little time to get a photo and write something.

And as soon as I did that:

I had my theme.
I had my photo.
I had more than the rules required.
I had the time to write (while watching) and I had done more than enough.

Questions.

What is enough?

What can you accept, (of yourself and or others) as it is, to see what come of that?

 

#businesscoaching #businesscoach #acceptance #acceptyourself #acceptothers

#50DaysOfShades Day 34 (i01) of 50 – Acceptance

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 33 of 50 – Going further afield

Today I went out on my bike (as you know I usually walk) for the first time in a long time.

I went further, I ended up in a field. All joking apart it did provoke the theme for the day. Let me explain.

This morning, for a reason that is not relevant here, I had to dig my bike out. So decided to go out for a ride, rather than my usual walk. As the bike has not been used for a long time I did not know if I would just do my normal walking route (to test the bike) possibly having to walk it back with a flat tyre (as the had needed pumping up) or would I end up going further along the river?

I cycled across the green open space you have seen in previous pictures, across a little bridge and kept going. Not a route I would normally take when walking, and not one recognised doing before on my bike.

When I say not one I recognised, the grass was long with a clear track (the width of a car) through it ending up at some water, I wasn’t 100% sure where I was. I did not recognise it as the riverbank and assumed I was on the edge of a pond/lake so stopped to take my photo.

I even checked maps on my phone to see where I was, it said the riverbank, but I didn’t believe it. But it is not like I was ‘lost’ so continued and guessed I’d work it out and cut back to the river at some point. I didn’t cut back, I didn’t work it out, I didn’t need to. I was on the river all the time. So simply kept going. All the way down to the next lock, where it’s sensible point to turn around.

My first point is, there are times when using a different method (in this case of transport) allows us to go further. But it applies in many areas of life, if we are stuck, if we find a limit we don’t have to just push through. We can find new ways of doing things that will get us where we want to go.

My second point is, just because we don’t know where we are does not mean we are lost.

Questions:

Where are you stuck?
What can you do differently?
Do you know where you are (metaphorically)?

#businesscoaching #businesscoach #Breakinglimits #GoFurther #neverlost

ps. not my boat

50daysofshades d33-i01 Going further afield. Steve Wells in shade by his bike

Interested in business coaching?

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4

#50DaysOfShades Day 32 of 50 – Finding the 3rd option

There are plenty of times in life when dealing with other people, either personally or professionally, that the two options on the table do not feel satisfactory to either party. And trying to do a bit of both (what most people end up doing when they talk about compromise) doesn’t really work either.

This is when we need to find the 3rd option, the something else that meets both the goals and does not devalue the original options.

Today was something like this. The weather didn’t know what it was doing, one minute pouring rain, the next bright sunshine. But both occurred while I was in the house working. By the time I was out and about it was just a bit dreary.  So, the photo was looking a bit nothingy.

At which point I made the choice to go for a 3rd option. A simple photo in the car. It fulfilled the need of taking a photo and gave me a topic all at the same time.

Questions for today.

Looking back, can you think of a time where you settled for a bad compromise? (ie where neither got what they wanted)
Can you now think of a 3rd option that would have satisfied both parties?

#businesscoach #businesscoaching #dontcomprimise #betteroptions #3rdoption

 

(as always one of the random pics that happened while taking the photo included)

#50DaysOfShades Day 32 of 50 – Finding the 3rd option

What are you doing?

One of the big questions about this project is explained in more depth on Day 4